Cultural Differences

• I got a great book the other day, its called “Ugly Americans Ugly Koreans.” It has fantastic examples of how Korea and American behaviors and standards differ. It doesn’t pass any judgment, just states cases of where we differ in our expectations. For example, “Koreans tend to eat without much talking, and then get up and go. Americans tend to socialize a little, eat with moderate conversation, and then talk a great deal afterwards. Koreans are more likely to move to a new location after a meal.” It’s a really helpful for me. Plus, it confirms many of the interesting observations and generalizations I may come up with.
• I am fascinated by the cultural differences I encounter. For example, in the dressing rooms, you often have to take your shoes off before entering, and then there are a complimentary pair of high heels to wear, just incase you only had your flats with you. Also, as Melissa knows, even if you want a bigger size skirt or shirt, if you try it on and it looks good on you, the shop attendant may refuse to give you a different size. She may insist that it looks fine and will not get you a different size.
• Another difference is that if you buy a beer at the liquor store, you can pull out the folding chairs and folding table and sit down with your beer (or soju) and drink it right there in front of the store. It is so much better than drinking in a smoky bar! You can just sit out on the street drinking a beer, people watching, and enjoying snacks from the GS.
Really, in Korea, it seems like you can drink any where. My book says that public drunkenness is acceptable unlike in the states where it often holds a social stigma and may even land you jail. But here, it’s common to see businessmen dressed in fine suits staggering down the street. Or, drinking beer at the movie theater like it was a US sporting event. Which I think is a great practice by the way! Vicki and I got two beers and a bag of popcorn for less then $8 total!
Even I am guilty of drinking in public. One day Sunny and I went to TGIF and ordered dinner and long island ice teas. Unfortunately, Sunny realized after we ordered that because of a holiday schedule the last bus to her home that evening was leaving in half an hour. So we ate our meals as fast as we could. She then asked me if I though they would have “to go” containers, and I thought she was referring to our left over meals, but she wasn’t. She meant “to go” containers for our long island ice teas! Sure enough, they gave us “to go” cups with lids and straws so we could enjoy our long island ice teas on the bus ride home. Sunny then apologized for having to rush when eating our meal, and hoped my digestion would be ok. I told her it would be fine, and plus, I had “tea” to help my digestion hahah! Defiantly a funny bus ride home that night!
• Another difference here in Korea is that people like to dress up for all occasions. In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen a relaxed Korean in a t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. “You may seem some Koreans dressed more appropriately for an evening out at a fine restaurant than for a day hiking mountain trails.”
Yesterday it was pouring rain and girls were still walking around in mini skirts and open toed, high heel shoes. Rain or shine, they dress in style. This also goes for amusement parks. As my dad puts it, “You’re going to take photos when you are at the amusement park so you need to look good.” Makes sense right? This must be why the raft ride at amusement park has a huge tarp in the center that you pull over your body so you won’t get wet. I mean, you want to ride the rapids, but you also can’t get that silk skirt soaked, right?
• A lot of differences have to do with having and raising kids. An example I see often, and is stated in my book is that Korean parents are indifferent to the children disturbing others in public. “Most Koreans do not seem to be bothered in the least by children running around and making noise in public. Americans, on the other hand, think children should be strictly controlled in public by their parents.”
Oh, I also learned that when a Korean woman is pregnant she will have a lot of tangerines or oranges. I guess the fresh smell is supposed to help with the morning sickness. So, if you see a woman eating tangerines or oranges you can joke around that maybe she is pregnant.
After a woman gives birth she can go stay at a special care facility. Here, there are nurses to care for your baby 24 hours a day, and the job of the new mother is to sleep and eat. The mother can see her baby whenever she wants to, but her primary job is to take a few days to recover before being required to go back home and care for the new baby, her husband, and her household.
I think this is a great system. Maybe I should open up one of these facilities in Manhattan Beach or some other neighborhood where people can afford it. I would offer recovery yoga, facials and massages, etc. Too bad new born babies creep me out otherwise this could have been a great new business to pursue. You know me, I don’t think babies get cool till they are over a year old.
Another interesting difference I learned about is that Mothers lose their identity after having a child. I was talking to a woman who has two children and she explained to me that only at our work is she called by her name. Teachers, other parents, and even her own parents do not call her by her name. Once you become a mother you are referred to as such. So for example my mom would no longer be called Susan by her parents. They would call her “mother of my grandchild Renee.” Parents would call her “Mother of Renee,” or “Mother of Angela.”
I explained that as a teacher, I would only refer to a third party this way. So, I might say, “Nick’s mom came in to talk to me today.” Or maybe a parent referring to another parent from the same class may use this as well; “I invited Jane’s mom to help set up for the party.” But we would never directly call this person “Jane’s mom,” or “Nick’s mom.”
The woman from work said that there is now a change among some mothers because they feel they are losing their sense of self. I mean, to exist as “Susan” for the first 25 or so years of your life, and then all of a sudden, not to be called this any more, even by your own parents? I can see that this must be extremely difficult for a woman. You cease to be that person any more; your only importance now lies in your title as mother to this child. So, she said that some mothers are trying to use their real names with each other, but this is difficult to do. It’s just not customary, and breaking customs around here is frowned upon.